In the meantime, we have begun the next phase of fundraising: garage/yard sales. My dad and step-mom will be hosting a garage sale on , May 13 and 14. If you live in the New Castle area and want their address, you can contact me through email, FB messenger, or text. Friends and family have graciously donated items for them to sale, and all the proceeds will go directly toward our adoption. My mom and step-dad will also host a yard sale this summer, and likewise, they have also received a generous amount of donated items. Jeff's parents have already contributed by hosting a table at their church's rummage sale. When school is over, in late June, Jeff and I will have our own yard sale. If you live near our parents or us, please consider checking out our sales. I will provide updates when we know particular dates. If you don't live close, though, please consider praying for these events. We are hoping to raise some money, but also this is a great time to witness to neighbors and share what the Lord is doing in our lives. Pray that we might be a light to our communities.
The last few weeks have been a little challenging for me. My heart has been a little heavier than normal and I've been thinking about the ifs. I'm sure you've heard of the ifs - If I could do this, If that had happened, If I looked like this, etc. When Jeff and I first started family planning, we had envisioned an April/May baby so that my maternity leave would flow right into summer vacation. It's easy to get sad when the calendar says May and my body still says no baby. If only...
And I have moments like that - real, raw moments where I am just consumed with grief. This past Sunday was Mother's Day; for me, it was a sad day. Sure, I got to celebrate the special ladies in my life and I got to thank my mom for all she does for me, but I still felt empty. I get sad. I get mad. But I'm learning to rebound (better). As we approach our adoption commencement, I'm also leaving bits of sadness behind me and replacing those spots with hope. Hope is beautiful. Hope is what I cling to.
When I was a junior in college, I studied abroad in England. My friends and I took many weekend excursions to other cities and countries, and so, as we waited around bus depots and train stations, to keep boredom from settling in, we would ask each other interesting questions: If you were stranded on a deserted island and could take two people with you, who would you take? If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you eat? Etc. Once, the question was posed: If you wrote an autobiography, what would you title it? We all spent a good deal of thought on the question, and finally we went around the circle answering it. I said, Dancing in the Sunshine After the Rain. Throughout the years, I have returned to that phrase: dancing in the sunshine after the rain. To me, it means that I've made it through the tragedy, made it through adversity, the storm is behind me and it's beautiful skies from here on out. But, the weather of my life seems more consistent with a Northern Virginia winter. One day it's 60 degrees and sunny, the next it's 40 and raining, then negative 5 and a blizzard. Yup, that's my life - all over the place. So, I've had to rethink my book title, not necessarily to change the wording, but to change the meaning. See, in this world, on this earth, I can never dance in the sunshine without fear of rain. Rain will always come. But, in Heaven, I will be dancing for all eternity in the SONshine - He will provide the light of Heaven; He means there will be no more sorrow; He died so that I never have to face rain alone again.
So even though some days are gloomy, and even though the storm rages around me, I know I can withstand it because He is with me. Matthew 14 says:
So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."Eventually, I know God will cease the winds around me, but in the meantime, I will keep my eyes fixed on Him.
As we enter into this season of adoption, please continue to pray for our family. Pray that God has something big planned for us. Pray that we would continue to do His will and seek His face in all things.
Many Blessings,
Sara
